Something amazing happened today, I got shot in the arm (figuratively of course). I was up for a project with a company that I used to work for and found out today that my current company was not awarded the contract. Apparently, someone I used to work for said some not so nice things about yours truly.
So, like Kenny Chesney, “I go back” to my former days with this company and my interactions with my former Bawana. Now it would be very easy for me to get angry about this and suggest that the old boss had a chip on his shoulder. So easy, in fact, that I did let my anger get the best of me after hearing this news. I was in one of those moods where only a little loud music would do and so I turned on the 90s rock station and heard Filter’s Hey Man Nice Shot.
As I listened to the song, I reflected on the news I just heard and dissected my reaction to it; which, you know by now, was not exactly positive. I then thought to myself, what if I am wrong? What if I did something that really hurt this guy and put him in a bad position? People only “blacklist” others when the offender has done something so terrible to cause a deep emotional wound. Could that be the case with me?
As I continued to reflect on that time in my life, I realize that it was not uncommon for me to concentrate more on my own self interests than those of the organization I worked for. I had certain career aspirations that were not in line with where my job at the time was going and it is plausible that my behavior may have been impacted by this “gap” between personal goals and circumstance. I took risks to make my job more in line where I wanted it to go vs. where my boss and his boss needed it to go. This likely led to selfish actions and poor judgement on my part that I was unaware of because I was blinded by ambition. So, who is the jerk in this scenario? Me of course!
Why admit this? Well, there is a saying I hear often which goes “We are not perfect, but God asks us to try anyway.” If we do not confess our own shortcomings, they will never become real to us and we will never learn from them. So, instead of being angry with the old boss, I want to thank him for reminding me that my halo is in desperate need of repair. In other words, Hey Man, Nice Shot!
