About This Episode
Jim Carlon is a lawyer, army veteran, and lifelong Catholic whose twenty-five years of practice have shaped a deep commitment to wellness in the legal profession. He founded the Fairfield County Bar Association's Wellness Committee and serves on the board of the Care Coalition, a Westchester-based nonprofit focused on mental health. A Fairfield University grad and former JAG Corps officer, Jim is also a returning guest — his first appearance covered Conversation with a Desperate Man, a memoir of his time in a psychiatric hospital.
His new book, Keep the Faith: A Man's Guide to Staying Catholic After Divorce, grew out of a simple moment: his wife Kelly's refusal to consider anything but a Catholic framework for their wedding. That question — why is this faith non-negotiable? — became the seed of the book, especially after a string of family losses tested everything. Mike and Jim talk about the intellectual case for staying Catholic, what the annulment process actually looks like, the biggest misconceptions about divorce and the Church, and why marriage prep could use a boot-camp overhaul.
Key Takeaways
- Write the book you can't find. Jim searched for a direct, practical resource for divorced Catholic men and came up empty. So he wrote one — a reminder that the best books fill a gap only the author can see.
- Start with the why. Part one of the book gives ten reasons to remain Catholic after divorce. Jim's logic: if the why isn't compelling enough, nobody will stick around for the how — which is genuinely difficult.
- The Eucharist is the intellectual anchor. Jim's core argument is simple: if you believe in transubstantiation — the actual presence of Christ in the Eucharist — there's no lateral move to another denomination that preserves that belief.
- The biggest myth: you're automatically excluded. A divorced Catholic who is single and not in another relationship can fully participate in the liturgy. Civil divorce alone does not make you more of a sinner than anyone else in the pews.
- The annulment process is hard — by design. It takes years, requires witnesses, involves reading your ex-spouse's file, and feels like reopening an old wound. But Jim found real healing in it: space to understand what happened spiritually and emotionally, separate from the civil proceedings.
- Talk to a priest, not to yourself. Jim's experience at his mother's funeral — where a quick conversation led to confession and communion in minutes — illustrates how pastoral reality is often more welcoming than the narrative people construct in isolation.
- Marriage prep needs more realism. Jim and Mike riff on putting engaged couples through practical stress tests — sleep deprivation, hunger, a crowded airport — instead of hypothetical "what if" discussions. The relationship between spouses must be paramount, second only to the relationship with God.
- Grief upon grief can strengthen a marriage. Kelly and Jim lost family members almost immediately after their wedding. Three years in, they feel like they've lived a lifetime together — and the shared trials confirmed the partnership.
Keep the Faith
A Man's Guide to Staying Catholic After Divorce — practical, direct, and written for the men who need it most.